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uh yeah. i need to write this down. if you read this, kudos to you. i appreciate that.

so um. lately my mom has been treating me like a piece of shit. literally EVERYTHING i do is wrong in her eyes. she whines that i've changed and that i never help her with stuff, while i haven't changed a THING (ask my friends). she turns me down with everything, seriously. for example, we had to go to school to have a talk with some of my teachers due to my bad grades, and ALL of my teachers were very positive about me, they were all like, "come on, valery, you can do this, you just gotta study more but we know you can do it" but guess what my mom says? "oh no, i've already lost hope, she screws up on everything" and my teachers were like, "now now, don't say that, she's a good student and we know she can do it." and i'm just sitting there, thinking, "wtf are you doing mom?"

also, she says i never help her doing chores and whatnot. well, of course i don't. i used to do a lot, believe me. thing is, SHE NEVER FUCKING NOTICED. or she just kept on whining, "because i forgot a spot when i was cleaning" or "i didn't clean the stairs" and stuff like that. see what i mean? even if i do something, it's never good enough to her. she just turns me down, and makes me feel really bad.

and then she's surprised that i'm so snappy and aggressive towards her. idk, but, i don't think it's that weird..?

so lately i've been doing nothing, well, yeah, i've been doing small things like helping out with dinner and stuffs.
but my lil' brother is the 'sweetheart' and does everything well all of sudden, while he has always been the little 'criminal'.

i don't fucking know what to do anymore. i tried to hold a NORMAL conversation with her, but it just fucking didn't work. she just kept on whining, she makes fun of me all the time, even when my boyfriend is coming over. like today, during dinner, my boyfriend was there aswell, and she constantly made fun of me. and i'm like, 'yeah, whatever..'
yesterday, me, my boyfriend, my bro, and my mom were watching a movie and of course my mom had to make fun of me every freaking minute.

seriously, my boyfriend and friends also agree with the fact that she treats me like dirt. it's been going on.. since december i think. but it's getting worse and worse.
and i can't take it anymore because i get freaking aggressive and depressed when she's making fun of me or turns me down. it causes me to yell and i really want to like.. hit her in the face or something when she does that, but.. of course i won't beat my own mom up, i dont think i'd be able to.
it's just that i've always had an aggression problem, since primary school (i beat my own boyfriend up in sixth grade in front of a teacher because he was also making fun of me and annoying the crap out of me, to the point where i got a black-out and just hit him. no fun, honestly.) but i learned to control it since what.. 9th-10th grade? and really, i'm not that aggressive anymore, but when it comes to situations like these, i get really angered. it's just annoying the crap out of me.
she also likes to take away my internet connection when [in her opinion] i'm being stubborn again and not doing what she's asking me to. and seriously, if there is SOMETHING i can't stand, it's when she takes away the internet. i mean, how CHILDISH can you be?

but enough about that, i just really needed to rant. my appreciation goes towards the ones that read this, and i apologize for getting you all involved in my personal life.

peace.

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